Monthly Archives: September 2013

My dear August of 2013


I didnt blog at all in August. Im typing this post up on a gloomy cold Wednesday morning. My colleague cancelled our regular Wed meetings so ive got a lil extra time by myself here at home before I report in to work.

Eid 2013 has come and gone. It was a good Eid with several house visiting. Our home was also opened to guests that one weekend where relatives from my side and hubb’s came over. I prepared my signature aglio olio dish. Haha. It was a hit lah. Syukran.

My birthday rolled in too. Hubb surprised me with a cake at the stroke of midnight. Something I didnt see coming at all. Then the prank’s on me this time. Yes, he made me hunt for it. But my hubb, he doesnt hv the heart to see me suffer (or just cannot stand my whines. Lol) so he eventually literally told me where it was. (Kitchen cabinet. Pfft.) Yeap. So now im 32. And still alive and breathing. And blogging. :))

Early Monday morning on Aug 26. 19th Syawal. The nightmare of 12th Syawal 4 years ago, replayed itself.

A hysterical phonecall from my babysis. Well, less severe than 4yrs back. But still panicky, teary kinda call.

My dearly loved maternal grandmother had passed away.

She had woken up that morning complaining of pain in her stomach. Which escalated into a high fever. So she requested for an ambulance which brought her to ktph. Barely an hour there, she passed away. At 7.11am. Unable to determine the cause of death, the night shift duty doctor decided to send her off to the mortuary at sgh. My uncles were told to return to sgh at 8am the Next day.

I arrived at Nenek’s house at about 10. Silently went into her room and sat down on her bed to read surah Yasin. Sobbed cried and choked on the holy verses. The last time I saw her was at my house 2 weeks ago when she came over with the rest of the family for Eid. She was her usual happy self. Healthy.

My Nenek had 12 children. All of whom loved her very much and were probably in shock to do anything else. Like settling the funeral arrangments and stuff. So yours truly had to call Spore Casket etc etc.

The next day, I arrived at sgh hsa with 4 other uncles. Hoping to bring her body back by 9am as we were told by one of the investigating officers. But at 1030am, we were told that the coroner wanted to do an autopsy on my poor nenek’s body to further determine cause of death. I went complete psycho ballistic on him and stormed outta the place and flagged a cab back. I left my 4 uncles behind. In fury.

But as soon as I reached Neneks place, my eldest sis informed me that the autopsy has been cancelled and they are finally releasing her body.

Eventually, she reached home at about 1pm. And yes, together with my mom, some aunts and some cousins, we gave her a final cleanse. An overwhelming experience which I found, helped us cope in the grieving process. That as she got wrapped nice and clean and we took turns kissing her at the end, we redha.

At one point in all her grandchildren’s lives (more than 30 of us) she would have taken care of us, bathed us as a child, fed us and put us to bed. She means the world to each and everyone of us. And she is definitely loved judging by the number of people that turned up to send her off to the burial grounds. Those in attendance included her children’s ex spouses! It took 30mins for her closest family members alone to kiss her lovely peaceful face for the final time.

Syawal is no longer a month of celebration for me. This happy month reminds me instead that 2 of the people I love most have returned back to Him. That this is the cycle of life. There is a beginning and there is an end.

Ive learnt to cope with news of death in the family. I have learnt to redha. It is ok to cry. Coz we are human. I still miss my late dad. Im gonna miss my nenek. But life must go on.

These are just some of the things in life that reminds you of death. And usually, it reminds you of Allah swt.

Isnt that a good thing?

Al fateha to my late dad and my late maternal grandmama. Still dearly loved and missed.