Monthly Archives: December 2013

byebye 2013


So fast, eh.

This Dec holidays, i didnt do much. 4 days getaway outta Spore. A little shopping to get new outfits for work (i still havent found a nice bag and a good pair of shoes though.. haha). Most of the time I am at home, sleeping half the day away and randomly surfing online. Beh…  comes with age i guess. I refused invites for dates with my friends. I refused to date the husband. I dont know what is wrong with me.

Last Friday, I walked into the polyclinic for my chest pains. Suddenly i am in the ambulance. And suddenly I was sitting in the a&e at ktph and hooked up to the iv. 3 ecgs, 1 x ray, 2 blood tests and 6hrs later, I was discharged and sent home without any meds. Nothing from the tests found any problems with my heart or my body. It seems all that is wrong with me may be just psychological. *waste time*

Since returning from Medan, I have been having diarrhoea. Not the excruciating tummy spasms kind like I got in Bandung. More like, watery stools and the need to run to the jamban after every meal. Its been a week so I took mc from work today and saw my GP. He  prescribed me some meds. Upon returning home, I went to take a shower and found a large red spot in my panty. Surprised me much because my menses ended last Dec17th. Only 19 days apart? Beh… must be one of my cysts rupturing or something. Hate pcos. Hate it Hate it Hate it!

Tomorrow is the last day of the year. Hows 2013 for me? Apart from losing my beloved grandmama and my first panic attack, its been good. I look forward to what 2014 may bring for me. Insya allah, more good things to come. 🙂

Im shelving baby plans for now. Again. I want to get my body in order first. The doctors may not have found anything wrong with me. But I feel wrong, something is not right. So losing weight is top priority. 🙂



Aunt Flo


My last menses was in May. Even that was through medication. After 7 months and showing no signs of ever showing up, I took 7 days of Duphaston and waited for it to come. I was getting anxious of it not ever showing up. My back ached like crazy and I felt quite ill and not myself.

I was at the zoo yesterday when Aunt Flo decided to make a grand entrance. Thankful for the nice and clean toilets of Mandai Zoo. (and pantyliner!) hahahaha…. Today is the 2nd day and it being the weekends, Im glad i am at home. 7 months of absent menses. So imagine the cramps and heavy bleeding. I bought Laurier’s 40cm pads just to make me feel safe. :/

Lets just hope it clears by the time I leave for Medan on the 18th. I doubt the toilets are usable by my standards. Yeah, Im very picky about public toilets. Plus, theres gonna be a 5hr drive from Medan to Lake Toba. Im getting excited about my first trip into Sumatra, so this Aunt Flo period better pass quick.



While planning for our next getaway, I was doing a lot of reads up on the internet and found that there were a lot of blogs detailing about other people’s travels.

It really helped me with regards to the attractions I can go to or skip, places to eat (especially halal ones), guides to possibly hire etc etc… and it made me want to start my own travel blog. (Cemana punya well travelled lah sangat!)

Altho ive not been to many places (all ard southeast asia jer) I have this sudden urge to just write about my little getaways so that (1) I can hopefully help others plan their own holidays and (2) Record my own experiences so the memory doesnt fade and etc etc thay sorta thing.

Ive started a new pg

So far, only 2 entries on my trip to Bandung last Dec. Hehe. Dah malam, gua nak tido woi.

But more entries coming soon. I hope. :))



Wow… last post was in September!

You know (whoever you are.. lol) with fb and twitter and instagram, blogging takes a backseat. wayyy back. haha..

Ok, lemme just try to summarize what ive been up to the last 3 months…


I took up running again in June. I had been running regularly. Then the haze set in. So the running became less regular. Went for the Shape run in October where I smashed all my 5km records. Maybe coz I started with the same pace as my cousin and friend. Which was basically 3mins faster than my usual. I realized i was going too fast because at the 1km mark, my runkeeper informed me of the ave distance. And because by then, I was already starting to feel tired. So i slowed down and let my 2 running companions go ahead first. Then i started to walk more than i run. And sprinted the last 1km. Thus the new record. Lol.

So after that run, i took a week’s break from running. Then i went to the gym. And I cannot even do a simple 3km on the treadmill. That night, while doing my isyak prayers, I found that i was unable to breathe. No matter how deep I breathed in, I couldnt get enough air. I started to panic. As i recovered from rukuk position, my heart started racing and I felt dizzy. My fingers and toes started getting cold. I kept thinking if i was getting a heart attack and die. After prayers, I complained to my husband of my condition and while he was concerned, he kept telling me i was over reacting. Maybe I hadnt eaten or gotten enough sleep.

I tried to calm down and the symptoms disappeared. But as we sat watching television, it came back and I felt faint. I begged for my husband to bring me down to the clinic and we rushed down. I was so afraid I will pass out and walked faster than my husband! When we arrived at the clinic, my husband rushed to the receptionist and requested we be seen next after describing my condition, which was thankfully granted.

The young doctor asked about my symptoms, checked my pulse and finally said I was having hyperventilation syndrome. HUH? Panic attack? I wasnt panicking about anything. I wasnt anxious or stressed. I was IN PRAYER! The doctor reassured me that I wasnt having a heart attack and I wasnt going to die. I just need to learn how to breathe properly and relax. No medications given. Just some sleeping pills to help me sleep.

Needless to say, I stopped running after that because I fear that i might get another attack while running. In fact, I experienced a couple more attacks after that. I gave the GE run a miss. I chucked my diet outta the window. And started gaining wait.

At the Illumi run last night, I thought i could attempt to do a slow jog or brisk walk but hey, it was a party run yo. Nobody was running. So yea.. i did a 5km walk with my cousin which i thoroughly enjoyed with no panic attacks. I still fear running. I wished i hadnt stopped. I wished i never have gotten the panic attacks. 😦

I will start slowly again. Insya allah.

Baby plans

Huh? What baby plans? hehe… As i was cleaning the other day, I found the file which contained all the forms for IVF which we already signed in May but didnt get to proceed. So I thought we could do it this December. My last menses was last May too. It didnt come at all since so I thought I will start on the pills to trigger menses and book my IVF appt. But somehow, my husband was against this plan. He said my body is still not well with my weight gain and panic attacks and all. So after some emo discussion, we’ve decided to postpone it AGAIN to next December. So i have 12 months to get my body physically fit and mentally prepare myself for the treatment. :/


Work’s been good this year. I will be taking P1 and P2 again next year. (Org dah expert kan… LOL) I ended the year on a good note. Was in charge of the PGD with some others and it was well executed. My supervisor gave me good reviews wrt my work performance this year. Alhamdulillah. I look forward to begin work next year. I’ve never felt like this the 9years i am in this career. Its true what they say after all. If you enjoy what you do, work becomes play! hehe…


I am still a makcik tudung. In fact, I feel naked without it. I still struggle to wake up for Subuh. And I aways try to fulfil my 5 daily prayers. So when time doesnt permit or when i cave in to Syaitan’s orders to sleep or nap and end up missing my prayers, I make sure I do my prayer marathon. LOL. I am at juz30 on the Quran. Mad excited. Hopefully I can khatam by end of 2013. If I do, it’ll be my 2nd time completing it. And the first time understanding what I actually read because I will read the translation at the end of whatever surah I recite for the day. The translation is in Indonesian and sometimes I dont understand some of the words used. So hubbs got me an English one and I look forward to begin reading that one once i khatam this one. hehe… I also plan to relearn how to properly recite the Quran. Not that i dont know already. But what i last learnt over 20yrs ago may not be accurate, although i dont doubt my makcik ngaji then. There are formal classes available now and I might start next year.


My 2 cats are constantly fighting with each other. The younger one has battle scars all over his body. Some of them bled. His fur has botak patches all over. I thought my elder cat was being a bully until I saw with my own eyes that the younger one is always the one to provoke and initiate a fight. They run at top speed all over the house causing a path of destruction everywhere they go. But like human siblings, they show affection to each other at times too. The elder one is especially loving as it will lick the younger one’s wounds or try to groom it. We dont lock up the younger cat at night anymore. Initially they will play/fight throughout the night, banging into closed doors and crashing anything on table tops, cabinets, shelves. Now, once all the lights are switched off and we go to bed, each one will find their own spot and sleep as well.

December 2013 plans

Initially, we didnt plan to travel out of the country. Hubb as to serve 3 weeks of reservist ending next week. I didnt mind at first because i had wanted to do my IVF, right? But since its postponed, we decided maybe we can plan a short getaway. Hubb mentioned Lake Toba and immediately I logged on to Jetstar and to my delight, found they were having a sale! So we  booked a trip to Medan with a 2-night stay in Lake Toba and 1 final night in Medan city. And then, we realised hubb’s passport has less than 6 months to expiry. So we applied for his new passport online as well. We have booked hotel rooms but we still have not found a personal guide and private driver to bring us from Medan city to Lake Toba and back. Hubb’s kinda worried that his passport wont be ready before we take off. We’re leaving on the 18th. 10 more days should be sufficient. I hope. hehe.

Pray for us, hor.

Dah penat ni. Laki dah balek. Nak kena layan. hehe!