My absolute favourite time of the year!
Coz we met in May. Fell in love in May. Got engaged in May. Got married in May. Moved into first marital home in May. Plus! Hubb’s bday is also in May! Wooot!
Ok… as per the title of this post. Something that has been bugging me for a bit.
The other day as I sat talking to a friend, she mentioned that my husband has gotten quite extreme with his transformation.
Hmm… I wondered why she said that.
Maybe because, I playfully mentioned that my husband does not allow me to leave home without the hijab or with tight fit clothes (he doesnt have to forcefully forbid, this is wajib). Or that our home hardly plays music, just Quranic verses or zikrullah songs.
Or the fact that my husband is now mildly obsessed with playing the doumbek. (Djembe? Whatsitcalled?)
Or that we dont hang out with other people already? (Venue is of issue. Will blog abt this another day)
I came to a realization that while many of our friends and family see our transition to be better Muslims as a good thing. There are others who still see it as an extreme thing.
But thats ok. This journey, our journey, is for ourselves. Extreme or not. My dear friend may not have understood. I will try and talk to her again. And pray for her to receive the hidayah and love that Allah swt has blessed me so far.
Hubb also has a friend who followed him to the mosque now and then. After a while, when asked to go to the mosque during prayer times, the friend refused. When hubb got incessant, he got irritated and told him ‘relax ah… no need to be so extreme…’
I know Islam is about moderation la bro. But when it comes to prayers, no 2ways abt it. Either u do or you dont. We pray he will also change for the better. 🙂
Because hubb and I know. What its like to be in their shoes. To walk past Masjid Sultan and eat at Zamzam or Victory or shopping along Arab st, blatantly ignoring the azan calling out loud and clear. Not feeling a tinge of guilt.
To see others who changed for the better and went, “ohh… hes met a tudung girl. So now must impress her la. That wont be long term. He’ ll return to the old ways soon.”
“She put on tudung? Ya la. Got married aldy. Sure husband forced her. What kind of husband is that?”
“She put on tudung because her ears are too big. Or maybe she is balding? Oh… a bad hair dye job! Bad hair cut?”
Astagfirullah… we never had a good thing to say about other who have changed. We were always that judgemental. And stayed away from people whom we thought were ‘extreme’ly religious.
Because it made us uncomfortable.
That we werent like them. That we were better and happier not being forced to pray or fast or cover our aurats, joining syaitan in his quest to drag all of us to hell with our drinking, partying. Especially me… that the more revealing clothes I wear, the better I feel. Because I was a confident sexy woman, not afraid to show off my skin.
Because we were that childless couple, intent to show the world that even without kids, we are happy and fun. We can afford expensive possessions, multiple holiday trips. A late night out partying coz theres no screaming baby or sick child to attend to.
Who were we kidding? Only ourselves.
So when Allah swt sends his love in His own way, we are much much much thankful. And our sudden drastic change may throw some people ard us off balance.
But its ok. Again… we still have a long way to go to learn and be better. Not better than anyone else. But better than us before. Even if it means taking extreme measures.
Because you know. With every second the clock ticks, the closer Death is to all of us. No time left.